do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Randomize
