I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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