some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Shame - the story of my life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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