I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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