Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
