There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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