life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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