i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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