How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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