we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
