Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
