If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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