You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
