you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
