how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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