I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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