Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
