Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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