one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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