In the future we'll all be gay
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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