My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
