My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
