Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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