Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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