I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
