Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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