I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
