Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
