he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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