Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
