I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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