Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize