i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
