I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
