Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
