No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
