I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
