party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
