dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
