oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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