my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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