Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
