Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
