He asked to "fluff my boner.."
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
