very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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