Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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