Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
