You really coming over, don't trick.
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
