He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
