Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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