maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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