M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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