Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
