Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
