I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I could fuck to npr.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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