new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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