Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
