well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
