I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
