walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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