you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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