This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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